parents
Private School Admission Preparation
- The Teacher Report
- The Writing Sample
- The Admissions Interview
ALL-IMPORTANT TEACHER REPORT
Parents can spend lots of time preparing their kids for the SSAT Middle / Upper and many hours filling out applications and securing letters of recommendation, and it all could become undone with a single sub-par teacher report. Most parents are aware of their child’s academic prowess, which prompts them to apply for a top Hawaii private school in the first place. Some parents, however, may not be aware of certain attitude, behavioral and maturity concerns, no matter how minor they may be, which can show up on some obscure corner of a teacher report and turn the tide for their child in the competitive world of private school admissions.
Hawaii’s schools are filled with aggressive students and parents, which is a reason why the admissions committee may take a single comment on a teacher report very seriously. Punahou, Iolani, Mid-Pacific... have more than enough bright and talented applicants to choose from and may even look for a reason, albeit a single one, to pick one candidate over another. A severe enough negative comment, even one immersed within a bunch of positive comments, may unseat an applicant with an outstanding standardized test score, personal interview and writing sample. Examples that stick out like a sore thumb include: “Johnny / Jane . . .
- “. . . speaks out of turn . . .”
- “. . . doesn’t submit homework consistently . . .”
- “. . . is unfocused at times . . .”
- “. . . bothers other students . . .”
- “. . . doesn’t work well in groups . . .”
IOLANI Schools
Admission for Grade 6 only
In previous years for 6th Grade IOLANI admissions, fifth graders
were divided up into small groups by gender and asked to collaborate on a project such as making a poster or banner. Obviously, enthusiasm, peer interaction, effort, demeanor, participation and creativity were scrutinized. For the Writing Sample or Iolani "Questionnaire", individual applicants were asked to write short answers (maybe 2 - 4 sentences per question) to a series of standard admissions questions.
Writing Prompts - Short Answer Responses
(2 to 4 sentences per response)
- Why do you want to come to IOLANI? Give reasons. On a scale of 1 to 10, how badly do you want to attend IOLANI? Explain.
- Tell us about yourself! List 3 words you would use to describe yourself. Why did you choose these 3 words? What are your interests or hobbies?
- If you got in trouble, who would come to your rescue?
- Tell me about your current school. Describe your normal school day? What are your favorite subjects? Who is your favorite teacher?
- Describe something you’re really good at. Tell me about something you’re proud of.
- What do you do with your family? Tell me what you do with your friends. What do you do on weekends or holidays?
- Write about the best (or worst) day in your life.
- If you could have a super power, what would you choose and why would you choose it?
- If you won one million dollars, what would you do with the money?
- Finish this sentence. If I could be any animal, I would be a _____ because ...
On the other hand, I have known more than a few students who did not have great test scores get accepted to Punahou, Iolani, Mid-Pacific... due in no small part to an outstanding teacher report. Comments include: “Johnny / Jane . . .
- “. . . is cooperative . . . hardworking . . . motivated . . . resourceful . . .”
- “. . . compassionate . . . positive . . . responsible . . . a joy to teach . . .”
Summary and Final Thoughts
Some conscientious parents take the teacher report so seriously that they take every opportunity (e.g. parent-teacher conferences, periodic email/phone conversations) to build a healthy relationship with perhaps the one person outside family who has the greatest influence on their child’s private school destiny. Some parents even volunteer at their child’s school while others make it a point to remind their child of the importance of making a good impression on his or her current teacher.
Parents are their child’s primary advocates, and should always support and protect their child’s well-being, but Punahou, Iolani, Mid-Pacific... have applications-to-spaces ratios of 4:1 to 7:1 depending on grade level. Parents who take grievances to their child’s current school, most likely for a just cause, risk “making waves” and being labeled “red-flag parents” in the back offices of public school administrations. These unofficial grievances will not be documented on a teacher report or possibly anywhere, but could mysteriously make their way to the admissions committee of a top private school. Again, parents should always support and defend their child, but moving schools should become an option of last resort, especially if parents intend to apply to any top Hawaii private school. Moving schools is drastic, but better than having a “bad rap” haunt parents every year they apply for the same top private school, which keeps “unofficial records” itself.
TIMED WRITING SAMPLE
In this section, I cite specific writing strategies applicants can use to separate themselves from hundreds of other essayists. While grammar, syntax and flow are important, what really catches the eye of the Punahou, Iolani, Mid-Pacific... faculty grader is creativity, honesty, originality, uniqueness and humor. Below are some comparisons between “average” and “better” writing samples.
- Average: “The best day in my life was when our team won the championship.” Better: “The cheering of the crowd, the smiles on my parents’ faces and the celebration with my teammates changed my life forever.”
- Average: “The worst day in my life was when I broke my leg.” Better: “After I fell, pain shot through my body, but what hurt more was the fear of possibly being laughed at.”
- Average: “Outside family, the person who changed my life the most was my coach.” Better: “My coach touched my heart, and could see things in me I could not see myself.”
- Average: “If I had to plan a field trip, my class would go to the zoo.” Better: “Our field trip would be to the moon, where we could see and touch wonders only dreamed about in science class.”
- Average: “If I had nothing to do, I would call my friends and play Xbox all day.” Better: “If I had nothing to do, I would call my friends and dig a tunnel to the Big Island so we can see active volcanoes.”
- Average: “If I were principal, I would tell teachers to be less strict and mean.” Better: “Teachers must control classrooms, but this one time, my teacher said something to me that almost made me cry.”
Sample Writing Prompts
In my experience, there is a likelihood that one or more of the following writing prompts (or some variation of the prompt) will be administered to your child on the Punahou, Iolani, Mid-Pacific... “Interview Day”. Parents may want to discuss these writing prompts with their child PRIOR to this day to best prepare for the all-important timed writing sample. A good essay should be at least 3/4-page, but preferably one page in length. Quality essays that go over one page in length (especially with a time constraint) can really STAND OUT before a Punahou, Iolani, Mid-Pacific... staff member, possibly a grade-appropriate language arts teacher.
- Tell us about the best (or worst) day in your life in as much detail as possible. / What is the greatest thing that has ever happened to you? Explain. / Write about an event that has changed your life as completely as you can.
- What is your favorite place in the whole wide world? Explain. / Describe your favorite room in your house (or at school). / Think about a place where you like to go to be alone. Write about this place and tell why you like to go there to be alone. / What is the most fun place in your neighborhood (or town or city) and why?
- Describe something you’re really good at in lots of detail. / Tell us about a time when you felt proud. Why?
- If you could become any animal, what animal would you choose to be? Why?
- You are assigned the task of planning a field trip. Where would you go and why?
- If you had three wishes, what would you wish for and why?
- Describe a superpower you would want to have. Explain.
- You have nothing to do for an entire weekend. Tell us what you would do in as much detail as possible.
- Describe a person OR celebrity OR historical figure who has had a big impact on your life. Why?
- If you were principal, what would you do to improve your school?
- You have been elected governor. What would you do to make (your state) a better place for everyone to live?
Summary and Final Thoughts
The Timed Writing Sample may be the most overlooked and underestimated aspect of the private school admissions process, especially by students. It is the one and only “assignment” required and graded by Punahou, Iolani, Mid-Pacific... faculty. As a result, penmanship, paragraph structure, idea formulation, spelling, grammar and syntax are scrutinized. Understandably, many applicants are exhausted from months of intense standardized test drill-and-practice, laborious homework assignments and school projects, and energy-sapping extracurricular activities. But the time to relax is after the Timed Writing Sample is completed. Essayists should spend as much time as permitted (usually about 20 minutes) working on the Writing Sample. An applicant who finishes the Timed Writing Sample in five minutes could see years of hard work go down the drain. Needless to say, a lazily written essay can eliminate an already longshot candidate from contention.
ADMISSIONS INTERVIEW
While parents should help their child for the all-important admissions interview, applicants who appear “over-coached” may bother or even annoy the Punahou, Iolani, Mid-Pacific... faculty interviewer who is looking for honesty (but not brutal honesty), genuineness of personality and the applicant’s true heart and soul. Not every child is charismatic, articulate, passionate, energetic or optimistic, and any attempt to alter an applicant’s personality could lead to disaster. In my opinion, parents are the very ones in the best position to influence their child’s interview performance. So how can parents give their child an edge on the all-important admissions interview?
DRESS CLOTHES! SAY HELLO! SHAKE HANDS! YES SIR! YES MA’AM! EYE CONTACT! ENTHUSIASM!
COMPLETE SENTENCES! USE THE WORD “GREAT”! SAY THANK YOU! SHAKE HANDS! SAY GOOD-BYE!
The one thing applicants must do to enhance their interview skills is to be polite, thoughtful and respectful. A shy, inarticulate, nervous student without an all-American smile or laser eye contact can still make an impression on the Punahou, Iolani, Mid-Pacific... faculty interviewer with good manners. Even a kid who does not answer an interview question but instead replies, “I’m sorry, could you please repeat the question” could impress the interviewer in subtle ways. Thoughtfulness and respect are universal, transcending the personality and racial background. Even the aliens on Star Wars used them in their intergalactic relations. In short, candidates who have “please”, “thank you”, “you’re welcome” and “my mistake” in their vocabulary have an advantage in a generation of competitive, high-achieving prima donnas.
Common Admissions Interview Questions:
- Why do you want to attend Punahou, Iolani, Mid-Pacific...? / Tell me what you know about Punahou, Iolani, Mid-Pacific...
- What 3 words would you use to describe yourself? (e.g., smart, athletic, hardworking, respectful, friendly, kind, funny, creative, musical, artistic, etc.) Explain why you chose these 3 words.
- Describe yourself as a student (including academics, extracurricular, participation, teamwork).
- Tell me about your school. Describe your typical school day.
- What do you do with your family? What do you do with your friends?
- What are your hobbies? What do you like to do in your free time?
- Describe something you’re really good at or really proud of.
- What would you change about yourself?
- What extracurricular activities have you participated in?
- Do you like reading books? Tell me about the last book you’ve read.
- What are your favorite subjects in school?
- Who was your favorite teacher and why?
- Describe a person who has had a great influence on your life.
- Describe an event that has had a great impact on your life.
- What would you do on a weekend if you had no homework or other things to do?
- Any current events question.
